Tuesday, 21 March 2017


The emails on the site continue to trickle in.

PC Plod messaged late one night to say that someone he was interested in has disappeared without explanation.  His message is full of sad face emojis 😞.  He says he was chatting to someone who he thought was the answer to all his emotions and concerns, only for them to disappear without any explanation. I'm relieved I didn't accept his suggestion to meet at my beach hut on Friday else I'd have been complicit in him double dating!

Instead I went into Agony Aunt mode and suggested that endless messaging wasn't a good idea and that I thought phonecalls were a better way of gauging someones authenticity, so he sent me his land line number!  He'll have to wait.

Someone called friskyboy messaged a one liner which doesn't merit a reply.  Nor does the message on the hoodie he is wearing in his profile pic which says Keep Calm and Stuff The Turkey.  He's either been on the site a while or he is somewhat premature

I am however now enjoying chatting to Richard.  Richard's profile says his personality is Humanist  My profile says I'm Professional. Professional dater?

Richard is interesting, despite owning a ruddy red motorbike.  He talks about his garden, and his family.  He says he's funny and engaging and likes fireworks and thunderstorms, skiing and sailing.  He sounds a good prospect for my Sydney Harbour Bridge climb, especially if we can time it at New Year

There is still no contact from the self-confessed idiot whose wife and partner took all his money and properties.  But then I'm not expecting anything  Not money. Not property. Nor contact.

So this evening I picked up the telephone and rang 999.  I mean PC Plod.  He sounded very nice indeed and told me about the mystery lady who caused him such a lot of sad emojis 😢

Apparently they had met, 3 times in all, the last time for a wedding which he invited her to.  The following day she emailed to say he wasn't the right guy for her, then disappeared for a week before telephoning him to ask for a lift to Gatwick Airport.  He refused, and has not heard from her since.  I expressed horror, saying her behaviour gave genuine women a bad name, to which he replied that he is sure men are just as bad, and I suppose he is right.

He tells me he has been married twice, the second marriage lasted only 5 years.  He didn't say how or why either ended, and I was too much of a lady to ask

As I had rung his landline using my dating mobile, I ended the call saying I would message him via the site with my number in case he wanted to stay in touch, which I did.  He replied immediately saying he would text me this evening so that I have his, and, for a change, he added a happy emoji 😊

Over the weekend I decided to abandon my quest to find a +1 for my daughter's wedding in July.  I have RSVP'd saying I will be attending alone.  I'm happy with my decision.  I really don't believe that even if I should meet someone now, it would be appropriate to take them along to a family event, as we simply wouldn't have known each other long enough to share such an intimate celebration.  Something PC Plod knows all about

In other news, I had a surprise telephone call this morning from the owner of a London based Introduction Agency, following up my initial enquiry from a number of weeks ago which I had completely forgotten about after an interesting pop up appeared online.  With a company name totally unrelated to it being an introduction agency, I was curious and clicked on to the website and realised this was a high class and discrete agency.  With a milestone birthday in just six weeks time, this is my last ditch attempt and a present to myself.

While I don't mind living by myself, supporting myself, and going to events alone, there are times when it would be good to have someone to share really happy occasions such as the arrival of a new grandchild, family weddings etc.  All the  happy moments we will never have back but which are made better when shared with someone.  But it needs to be the right person.  The wrong person could spoil an event, or make it a non event.

So instead of renewing my subscriptions to the dating sites I am investing big time in myself by engaging an introduction broker.  The lady who rang me this morning sounded extremely grand and has invited me to meet her at an equally grand hotel in central London in April for an initial consultation without any obligation.

Perhaps my lovely friend is right and the dating sites aren't the right place for me to meet someone. Its time for me to think outside the box.

I don't know what Agony Uncle will say, but its a blessed relief for me to know that I now have an excuse for not trawling the online sites until my fingers bleed..








Friday, 17 March 2017


I should have had a date today.  The man whose wife and partner took all his money and properties emailed last week saying that if I told him when and where to meet, he'd be there.

So I suggested Friday at 11am, sent a website link to the beach side restaurant I recommended for coffee, and gave him my dating phone number, should he like to chat beforehand.  Chatting beforehand was on the advice of Agony Uncle after observing some of my disastrous dates in the past.  He now insists I speak with any date by phone before agreeing to meet.  I almost got it right.

No reply to the email, and no contact via dating mobile so I guessed the date wasn't going to happen and messaged at 7am this morning via the dating site to say as I'd not heard back from him, and wouldn't want either of us to have wasted journeys, could he please text or phone if he was still wanting to meet.  Zilch.

Quite apart from the total lack of good manners, what is wrong with these men??

To be fair, he did eventually reply later in the day - of the morning we were supposed to meet - saying:

"I am such an idiot, I thought I'd put the ball in your court and was waiting for you to suggest something, forgetting that you had.  I've let work get the better of me this week, dare I ask for another chance and time please?"

Correct.  He's an idiot.

I've replied, briefly, saying he has my number and he can phone any time.

Talking of phones.  Tipperary Man had left another message last week and when I returned his call, he told me he was in the Quiet Carriage of a train bound for Shropshire.  He once again said I was the only person from the ghastly dating site he had spoken to  (I'm now convinced this is all part of his chat-up line) and he suggested meeting, after the Cheltenham Festival, where he was heading to, after Shropshire. This tells me I'm not as important as the other nags in his life.  Sadly, from my point of view anyway, this has now gone cold anyway.

Agony Uncle bailed on our posh nosh date this week, but he is forgiven as he's had a family bereavement and after taking 2 weeks off work to organise a funeral and deal with family matters, he's had to go away on business.  It buys me some time as I have little dating news to report back with.

But I have hope.   I am suddenly receiving a lot of messages on the site which means my subscription must be about to expire and they want me to renew in order to continue communicating. This will please Agony Uncle as my fingers should very soon start to bleed.

Someone whose username I cannot remember, and who I haven't replied to, but was local said he liked my profile and photos and asked me to take a look at his.  I lost interest when I saw the one of him astride a shiny red motorbike and then lost interest big time when I read that he doesn't own a TV, has a couch but never sits on it, doesn't own a mobile phone but has a push bike

Another one emailed with a one liner and his profile photo shows him cradling a model aeroplane.

Next!

Someone not too far away began emailing yesterday.  His profile says he is ex police force, and has taken early retirement.  He has a great sense of humour and we are doing a lot of flirting by email.  He told me it was his birthday yesterday so this morning I messaged to see how his day went.  We're batting and balling a bit and I told him I was probably going to bunk off down to my beach hut for an hour or so later.  He came back asking if he could join me.   Eeeek!

Since we only began exchanging messages yesterday and haven't yet spoken by phone, (plus it is very close to the beach side coffee shop I had suggested for the meeting with the man whose wife and partner took all his money and properties, and it could have been a bit tricky if he had turned up too), I avoided replying. When I do reply to PC Plod I shall have to confess that I didn't actually make it to the beach as the weather changed.    In any case, we hadn't spoken by phone, so would have been breaking Agony Uncle's dating rules.

As it happens, I have other things to think about.  This weekend I'm off to my first Hindu wedding, as a guest, minus a +1.  Commencing with breakfast at 10am, two ceremonies, an Indian feast, and an invitation to the evening reception afterwards, this event is causing me quite a bit of stress, mostly because of the numerous outfit changes.

But I am in wedding mood more than dating mood.

And I have hope.  Jilly Cooper apparently is now on Tinder.  Blind Date is to make a comeback on our TVs later in the year.

And Agony Uncle has promised to buy me a Big Mac on his return.













Monday, 6 March 2017

Chocks Away!


I've been away for a few days, staying with my daughter to help with her wedding planning.  Thankfully she didn't ask me who I would be bringing as my +1, which has bought me some extra time...  I have even begun to think of several girl friends I'd love to invite so am also considering that option if I can't come-up with a traditional +1 of the opposite sex.

During my travels, I unwittingly encountered Storm Doris, having booked my flights long before the storm was forecast.  My outward flight was cancelled altogether as the the small airline I usually use was grounded pending an investigation by the CAA.  During a previous flight they had taken off during 85 mile per hour storm force winds, were unable to land and had to be turned back, where they found the winds too strong to taxi along the run way on landing.  To my knowledge, they are still grounded.  This made alternative airlines extra busy which meant I couldn't get a seat on another flight until 48 hours after my original timed departure.  It was all very stressful and expensive, incurring 4 flights instead of 2, transfers and taxis and lost me 3 nights with my daughter

Anyway, eternal optimist that I am, I saw this as an opportunity to meet new people.   On Monday evening, I was travelling on the commuter flight back home, along with besuited gentlemen carrying lap top bags and briefcases instead of cabin bags and rucksacks.

I dressed appropriately, in full make-up, and colourful jacket to get me noticed, and carried my smart handbag and laptop bag over my shoulder, disinheriting my enormous bright pink designer suitcase which on checking it in to the hold had incurred an excess baggage charge of £40!

I thought I recognised one of my fellow passengers as the husband of friends we had some 25 years ago but as I haven't seen him in as many years, I wasn't sufficiently sure it was him, as he was now white haired and leaning on a walking stick, but we did lock eyes from a distance and I sent a smile his way in vague recognition.  I now await a reply to my email from my friend, asking if it was indeed her husband on the same flight as me

There was a lot of hanging around between transfers, giving me plenty of time to eye-up the other peeved passengers, and observe how they dealt with the inconvenience.  Most males rarely looked up from their laptops and mobile phones.  One was reading a large textbook which pages of graphs and figures (no, not of the female form)  Others were travelling with male colleagues and spent the entire duration of the flight gossiping about other colleagues.  And I thought only females gossiped!

I did have some competition from another female passenger who I heard flirting with a very distinguished male passenger with collar length hair, swept back in a Tarzan sort of way

I had the misfortune to be seated next to a scruffy boho female wearing a beanie hat, who seemed to spend much of the entire flight rummaging in her scruffy back pack for a scruffy looking pot of healthy snacks of nuts and dried fruit which she had presumably bought from home.  Having pre-booked myself a window seat, I was able to ignore this middle-aged nervous flyer by looking out of the window.  In the dark.

Once the plane had landed, most men hastily switched on their phones and began making calls to wives to confirm that they had landed and to inform them which terminal and gate they could be collected from.  No such joy for me, as I had to wait for my checked luggage to arrive on the conveyor belt and wait for the unidentified driver I had booked in advance to collect me from the airport and drive me home, thus avoiding the extortionate cost of parking my own car at the airport.

So, my little adventure was no more fruitful on the dating front than the websites have been, which were notably quiet throughout the time I was away.

On my return I contacted the man whose wife and partner had taken all his money and properties, to let him know that I was home, since he had suggested meeting up early this month.  He has replied, expressing surprise that I had remembered our arrangement, and has suggested meeting up ASAP.

Much to my annoyance another month's subscription was automatically taken from my bank account while I was away which I was helpless to do anything about.

And I found a voicemail from Tipperary Man on my dating phone, which I keep forgetting to check, telling me he would be in the UK this coming week and he'd like to meet me.   He goes on to say that he hasn't married since our last conversation and I'm still the only person he has spoken to on the ghastly site which he has now left. Interesting that he refers to not marrying, as this is the bloke listed on the peerage website as having 4 marriages to date, something he eludes to mentioning on his dating profile

I think I will go along and meet him, purely for the experience and to be able to add to my claims that I have briefly dated a peer.

I continued to read the weekly newspaper dating column for amusement and/inspiration.  Their couples are having as much luck as I am, but at least it is keeping the Dating Doctor in work.

And Agony Uncle has sent me a long cheery email telling me all about his holiday on his Scottish island with his new woman, He's still loved-up and insists their visit to Gretna Green was one of historical and educational interest only   Attached to the email is a photo of them both, smiling happily and draped over the Gretna Green sign,

I hate him!